Archive for March, 2007
« Previous EntriesRacist, Homophobic. An Army of Dumb.
Wednesday, March 28th, 2007Since starting this blog I have noticed I have been browsing other blogs even more then normal. A few days ago I found a story over at Pam’s House Blend. I normally don’t like to grab ideas from other blogs but after a few days of mulling it over I decided to run with it here too.
It seems that Sgt. Marcia Ramode, a knuckleheaded army recruiter, found what she thought was an ideal candidate for military service while trolling through resumes at Careerbuilder.com and fired off an email to him.
Who she found was Corey Andrew, an openly gay black male from Jersey City.
Long story short, when Andrew informed the recruiter that he was gay the recruiter lost her shit and attacked Andrew in a series of racist and homophobic emails. Pam’s House Blend has copies of these emails, one which I have snagged and rehosted.
You can see the rest if you follow the link at the end of this post.
The all-caps badly misspelled tirade does a great job dispelling the myth that soldiers are dumb, under-educated douchnozzles doesn’t it?
Thank you Sgt. Marcia Ramode, you are truly the kind of American I want defending freedom. Some strange selective freedom that excludes blacks and gays.
For your services to the country I award you the “Steaming Pile of Blog’s Giant Douchenozzle Award”.
I would encourage all readers to congratulate her by emailing her at MARCIA.RAMODE@USAREC.ARMY.MIL (if it still works that is).
Here is a direct link to where I first saw the story:
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=1153
I’m a Rocketman!
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007From CNN.com:
Island Christian Leaders: Ban Elton John
PORT OF SPAIN, Trinidad (Reuters) — Pop singer Elton John should be banned from performing at a jazz festival in Tobago because his homosexuality could influence young people, some Christian leaders on the Caribbean island said Monday.
A group of Christian churches have failed to persuade the Tobago House of Assembly, which oversees the administration of the island, to join the call for a boycott of John’s appearance at the Plymouth Jazz Festival in late April.
But they said they would pursue the campaign against John, who married his partner David Furnish in Britain in 2005.
“We feel it can have a negative social impact. There are some who may not be sure of their sexuality and one has to be careful about how this can create impressions on impressionable minds,” pastor Terrance Baynes told Reuters Monday.
I agree with Pastor Baynes. I went to an Elton John concert once, and now for the first time ever I’m ready to talk about my experience there.
I was in the crowd waiting for him to take the stage, and suddenly a large flag unfolded at the rear of the stage, and upon it was imprinted a huge rainbow. Then Elton himself walked out to a podium which was placed center stage. He raised his fist in the air and everyone chanted “Hail, Elton John!”
It was a very surreal experience. Most of the crowd were wearing pink armbands and waving little rainbow flags in the air. Those who weren’t wearing the armbands were ushured into tents along the side of the main stage by a militant looking bunch of guys called the “Pink Panthers.” About an hour later they were returned to the audience looking a lot lighter-in-the-feet than they had before. Many of them were holding hands. Needless to say, they were all male. For some reason, there were no females present.
I had escaped the clutches of the Pink Panthers by making my own pink armband before I arrived at the concert grounds. I was also wearing a gas-mask to prevent me from catching the deadly and highly contagious virus commonly caught at Elton John concerts called “The Gay.” Someone I knew had gone to see Elton John previously and had told me what had happened to him. His name was Frank, and before going to see Elton had made a life out of dating female strippers and drinking beer. Now, he watches Barbara Streisand films and drinks Cosmopolitans. I didn’t want to end up like him.
Anyway, with everyone successfully converted, the concert began. I’m up relatively close to the stage so I have a pretty good view of the festivities. Elton breaks into one of his more famous songs, “Crocodile Rock” and it looks like there’s a mosh pit about to form in front of the stage.
I thought it was unusual to see people moshing at an Elton John concert. Unlike Judas Priest (which, for some reason has the tents and the Pink Panthers at their shows, too) this wasn’t a metal show. But, upon closer inspection I realized it wasn’t a mosh pit at all! It was a bunch of guys dropping their pants and fondling each other. I was shocked! Never had I seen such a thing happen since I went to see Ellen Degeneres do her stand-up show and the girls in the front were doing some very unladylike things to each other. I stayed to watch that one, though.
At that point, I knew I had to get out of there. I took off my armband, which was not the brightest move on my part, and headed for the exit gate. Elton was just starting to croon”Rocketman” when I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. I turned to see a large black man starting at me. He was wearing a pink t-shirt, biker shorts and a pink beret. I recognized him to be one of the Pink Panthers. He grabbed my arm and dragged me toward a tent.
Now, I was in a state of panic. He threw me in the tent, and ripped off my gas mask. I was now fully exposed to “The Gay” virus. I began to cry as my captor started to unbuckle his pants. He was about to expose his gayness to me when my arm shot out and I punched him square in the jaw. He stopped for a minute, and his face began to change. His head got smaller, and turned green. Suddenly scales started appearing all over his body. He was distracted long enough for me to run out of the tent.
I looked around, and realized that everyone was turning green and scaly. I was surrounded with these creatures reaching out to me and trying to capture me. I had no chance, so I gave in….and lost consciousness.
I awoke strapped to a metal gurney of some sort. There were this lizard-people all around me hissing and making funny noises. Then one of them approached. He was one of them, alright, wearing big sunglasses and a pink boa. He spoke:
“Welcome to the Mothership.”
His voice was familiar, and it only took me a moment to realize who it was. It was Elton! Elton John was a gay Lizard-man! I remained silent, scared out of my mind, and he spoke again:
“I am the Rocketman. I come from planet Fagotia, and we have come here to take over your planet! Our weapon is the drug we call ManLove!”
He pulled out a syringe and stabbed me with it. I knew it was over. I had been infected with The Gay. I was doomed to a life of lusting after other men.
He looked at the monitors I was hooked up to, concerned.
“Nothing seems to be happening,” he said, “He is immune! We must get rid of him and wipe his memory clean! Brothers Halford and Mercury, get the Memory-Wiper machine!”
They did as they were asked, and hooked me up to what seemed like an EKG machine. I witnessed a big flash, and then woke up in my bed, not remembering anything that transpired the night before.
The moral of the story: Don’t let your kids listen to Elton John or they might catch “The Gay.”
And the “King Dumbass Award” Goes To…….
Thursday, March 22nd, 2007Wow, our “Idiots” section is getting pretty full.
I came across this article during my internet travels today. Will these people never learn?
Wisconsin Teen Busted After Website Pix Of Homegrown Pot
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — A teen accused of posting pictures of his potted marijuana plants and drug paraphernalia on MySpace.com faces charges after police monitoring for gang activity traced the information to him. Authorities said a label on the picture of potted pot plants read: “My Mary Jane thats growin in my closet right now.”
“People think that Web sites are more private than they are,” Sheboygan County District Attorney Joe DeCecco said. “This is just another tool for us to use.” – from Startribune.com
Hello…….Dave?
Thursday, March 22nd, 2007A lot of you may think this is insignificant, but I wanted to express my opinion on the death of Larry “Bud” Melman. Here’s his obit from CNN.com:
NEW YORK (AP) — The balding, bespectacled nebbish who gained cult status as the oddball Larry “Bud” Melman on David Letterman’s late-night television shows has died after a long illness.
Brooklyn-born Calvert DeForest, who was 85, died Monday at a hospital on Long Island, the Letterman show announced Wednesday.
He made dozens of appearances on Letterman’s shows from 1982 through 2002, handling a variety of twisted duties: singing a duet with Sonny Bono on “I Got You, Babe”; doing a Mary Tyler Moore impression during a visit to Minneapolis, Minnesota, where her 1970s show was set; handing out hot towels to arrivals at New York’s Port Authority Bus Terminal.
Cue cards were often DeForest’s television kryptonite, and his character invariably appeared in an ill-fitting black suit behind thick, black-rimmed glasses.
“Everyone always wondered if Calvert was an actor playing a character, but in reality he was just himself — a genuine, modest and nice man,” Letterman said in a statement. “To our staff and to our viewers, he was a beloved and valued part of our show, and we will miss him.”
DeForest’s gnomish face was the first to greet viewers when Letterman’s NBC show debuted on Feb. 1, 1982, offering a parody of the prologue to the Boris Karloff film “Frankenstein.”
“It was the greatest thing that had happened in my life,” he once said of his first Letterman appearance.
DeForest, given the nom de tube of Larry “Bud” Melman, became a program regular. The collaboration continued when the talk show host moved to CBS to launch “Late Show with David Letterman” in 1994.
The Melman character opened Letterman’s first CBS show, too — but used his real name because of a dispute with NBC over “intellectual property.” DeForest, positioned inside the network’s familiar eye logo, announced, “This is CBS!”
DeForest often drew laughs by his bizarre juxtaposition as a “Late Show” correspondent at events such as the 1994 Winter Olympics in Norway and the Woodstock anniversary concert that year.
His last appearance on “Late Show” came in 2002, celebrating his 81st birthday.
DeForest also appeared in an assortment of other television shows and films, including “Nothing Lasts Forever” with Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd.
There will be no funeral service for DeForest, who left no survivors.
I want to point out the last sentence of the article which states that there will be no funeral.
Mr. Letterman, this gentleman was probably the funniest thing about your show. Show a little respect and give the man a funeral. I’m sure he had friends who would attend. You employed him to further your career, now do the right thing and pay your respects to him.
Quote of the Day
Thursday, March 22nd, 2007“Raising the minimum wage is not improving people’s lives.” (From CNN)
-Rush Limbaugh
I really don’t need to say anything else. With that statement he made himself out to be nothing but a huge idiot. I didn’t even have to work for this one, he went ahead and did my job for me.
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