Archive for September, 2007

“K-Fed Scratches Ass, Lindsay Lohan Falls Out”

Tuesday, September 11th, 2007

….and celebrity news just like that can be found on TMZ.com, a website created just for all of you who can’t get enough reporting on what your favorite Hollywood icons are up to.

I just checked the site, and there’s a picture on its front page showing flowers on the grave of Anna Nicole Smith, with a caption that proudly boasts that said flowers were placed there by the oh-so-intriguing Howard K. Stern.

Do you want to know what my reaction to this news was?

Wait for it.

Ok, here it is:

“Who the hell cares?”

Which was my reaction when I discovered that TMZ.com is going to have its very own show on my television! Just what I need, another show devoted to the happenings in the lives of people I don’t give a rat’s ass about.

But, you, the American people, care. You do. Otherwise there would be no websites and shows like this. The adulation of pop stars has reached an all-time high these past few years. Or, should I say all-time low? I’m not sure what to say because I honestly don’t understand any of it.

I don’t understand this infatuation with people we don’t even know. I don’t understand why everyone cares so much about Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. Are our lives so dull that we have to live vicariously through these dimwits who have not done a single thing to improve our own lives? If anything, they’ve made our lives more shallow and meaningless.

Mind you, I’m speaking for you - not myself. I have a very full and interesting life without paying attention to the tabloids. There are things I do - work, read, write, socialize, etc. that all play such a large part in my life that I don’t have the time to wonder what club Ashlee Simpson was seen at last night.

But, you all seem to have that time. Or do you make time to worship these people? Does it give your life a special meaning to hang on every word they say, to adopt their views and opinions as your own, to develop your personal style based on what they’re wearing?

Let me ask you this: When your children have an essay for school to write, describing their personal hero, how many of them have written about Paris or Britney? How many of them have written about Eleanor Roosevelt or Martin Luther King, Jr.? Sadly, I’d bet my last dollar that more students would write about the former, or other celebrities like them, than the latter.

What I’m trying to get across here is that America needs a wake-up call. We need to divert the focus away from goings on in Hollywood and use that time and energy to focus on more important things. We have a lot wrong with our country, and we need to start fixing it. We have to stop bowing down to these idiot celebrities like they’re divinity and try to better our own lives.

Instead of taking your child to see the newest Lindsay Lohan film, take them to a museum. Teach your children to think for themselves. Right now, most Americans are being told what to think by the media, and most of you buy into it. In order to progress as a society - as a civilization - we need to take that power away from those who have no right to wield it. Right now, Hollywood has that power - and it’s the job of the “huddled masses” to take it back.


Another Reason Giuliani is a Fucking Idiot.

Sunday, September 9th, 2007

Giuliani is such a coward he hangs up on this guy and rants instead of actually debating him.


Rob’s Reviews

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

I’ve been watching a lot of TV recently, and I figured I’d write some quick reviews of the shows I’ve seen. I’ll give them a rating.

Big Love - Polygamy, Mormons, scandal. That’s what this show is all about. None of the characters appeal to me in any way, except Ginnifer Goodwin because she’s cute. Other than that, the same storyline has dragged out for two seasons, and unless you’re a Mormon you can’t really relate to this show at all. Joseph Smith was the L. Ron Hubbard of his time, and I’m waiting for a show about a Scientologist family. Maybe I’ll write it. I give it a C+ for showing Ginnifer’s ass in one episode, and the brilliant acting by Harry Dean Stanton as the evil Roman Grant. The show can’t totally suck, because I did watch both seasons in their entirety.

Californication - If you’ve ever wanted to hear Fox Mulder say “Clitboner,” this is the show for you. Duchovney plays Hank Moody, a burnt out writer with a foul mouth and an out of control libido. Aside from that, he’s a likable character who I’d probably want to hang out with in real life. It’s worth watching, especially if you like gratuitous boobie shots. B+

Dexter - Read the books. Watch the show. It’s all very good and I watched the first season in 2 days. I would have watched it straight through had sleep not interfered. Michael C. Hall (who plays troubled homosexual mortician David Fisher on the fantastic show Six Feet Under) portrays a lovable serial killer who only offs the bad guys. The show is set in Miami but every city needs a Dexter. A+ for both the show and the books.

Tell Me You Love Me -After watching the pilot episode of this show, I had to wonder what they were thinking when they approved this garbage to be shown on television. I guess it could be a decent show, but a lot of the plot got lost on me because I was in shock from all the graphic sex. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love seeing naked chicks on TV, but if I want porn I’ll watch “Butt Pirates of the Caribbean.” I almost shut it off when I saw the first guy’s balls hanging out while his girlfriend bounced up on top of him. But I kept on going, hoping that was the last set of testicles I’d have to see until I got in the shower. Boy, was I wrong….I got to witness one of the characters giving her husband a handjob, and him shootin’ a load all over his shirt. On HBO. Like I said - if I want porn, I’ll watch porn. All the artsy fucktards are going to come out and say it’s all “for the sake of art” but seriously, a true artist would be able to convey the same imagery without actually showing it. F-

Dead Like Me - canceled a few years ago, this is one of the best shows that never made it into it’s prime. An 18 year old girl gets killed by a toilet seat plummeting from space, and becomes a Grim Reaper. Great characters, amusing storyline. If you haven’t seen it, go rent it today! Although the show was canceled after it’s second season, filming just wrapped on a movie that follows up the show two years after it ended. Maybe Showtime will get the hint once the film does well (straight to DVD) and pick up the series again. B+

Meadowlands - Worth watching, but rumor has it that it may not be back for a second season, so don’t get too attached. But, those are interweb rumors and you know how much credibility lies with that. C

That’s it for now. Having just watched that episode of Tell Me You Love Me I fell the need to go watch 7th Heaven, or something wholesome like that.