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So You Wanna Be a Rock Star?

Friday, April 4th, 2008

Consider, for a moment, Kristin Hersh and the band she formed in the eighties, Throwing Muses.

Two things happened recently that made me think of Kristin and her aforementioned band. One was the release of the Breeders latest album, and the other was a conversation I had with a co-worker regarding Throwing Muses, my borderline obsession with their music, and a band from the mid 90’s, Belly.

While I haven’t heard the Breeders latest album in its entirety, I was lucky enough to see them on their latest tour, pimping said album. Sounded good to me. The Breeders first album was released in 1990. The band was formed by Kim Deal of the Pixies, and Tanya Donnelly, formerly of… Throwing Muses. While Tanya left after one album and one EP, the Breeders went on to have one of the biggest alternative hits of the ’90’s in “Cannonball”– even people who weren’t into that scene back then know that one. Try it, just hum the bass line to your Average Joe (“dum dummdummdummdumm dum dummdummdummdumm“) and they will instantly recognize it. Kim Deal, through her affiliation with the Pixies will forever have her place cemented amongst the pantheon of rock gods.

Belly had a huge hit in the 90’s called “Feed the Tree“– you know that one, too. And so did my co-worker.

So, who is this Throwing Muses you are always on about?

“Well, remember Belly? They had that song ‘Feed the Tree’?”

“Oh, yeah!”

“Ok, well, the woman that formed that band, Tanya Donnelly, used to be in Throwing Muses”.

Which brings us to Kristin Hersh, her career, and the music industry in general. There isn’t a single song that Throwing Muses did that I can point to and say “those guys”. This is a band that can claim REM and the Pixies as peers. Think about that for a minute. The Pixies inspired, by Cobain’s admission, Nirvana. They remain one of the most influential bands of our time. As for REM– well, Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you?

Should Throwing Muses have had some monster hit? Maybe “Mexican Women” or “Counting Backwards”? I don’t know. Perhaps the poppy “Dizzy”, or “Not Too Soon”? Would that have altered their following albums? Would I be able to sit here, writing this nonsense about some (relatively) obscure band, stroking my chin and sneering down my nose at the uninitiated? Or is it maybe just the luck of the draw?

I’ve been saying for years that Kristin Hersh is one of The Most Underrated Musicians On The Planet. Given her work with the Muses (Eight albums, a few EPs), her albums as a solo artist (her first solo album, “Hips and Makers” included a duet with REM’s Michael Stipe), and what she has done recently with her new band, 50 Foot Wave (whose only claim to fame is choosing that name right before the 2004 Tsunami), Hersh remains one of the most prolific artists of the modern era. And yet she toils away, giving music away for free on the internet, bounced from her label (the venerable 4AD), playing shows in the US to sparse audiences (she’s bigger in the UK), blogging about her latest bus breakdown or shitbag motel her tour had to settle for this week.

And yet, this is her career. This is the only life her kids know, schlepped around from city to city while mom and dad hope, maybe, just maybe, someone notices. Yeah, that describes thousands of unknown artists who will never know what it’s like to be U2– but listen to Throwing Muses’ “The Real Ramona”, or Kristin’s solo album “Sunny Border Blue”, and tell me that there isn’t some fickle injustice at work here.

Three (For Now) Other Albums From ‘82

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

There’s lots of hype right now around the 25th anniversary of Michael Jackson’s Thriller. OK, so the album sold gazillions, produced 800 top ten singles, including “Billy Jean”, “Beat It”, et al. Aside from the obvious and easy digs on Jackson’s tendency towards child diddling, let’s be realistic: this is nothing more than a last gasp effort by the quickly-becoming-irrelevant music industry to, quoting Morrissey, “reissue, repackage, repackage” an album that, despite your hardcore music snobbery, you probably have a copy of in one form or another lying around your house.

Before you rush out and buy your special edition double CD/DVD death machine box set, consider these other releases from 1982 that deserve your ducats:

The Cure- Pornography:

Admit it, people think of the Cure as some kind of bubblegum pop band, but the reality is that Robert Smith can be one morose motherfucker. No other album brings this truth to light like Pornography. From the opening lyric of “One Hundred Years “ (“Doesn’t Matter if we all die” ) to the close of the title track (“One more day like today and I’ll kill you”), Pornography had proto-goth kids jerking off over the harsh reality of our bleak existence. Say what you will about Bauhaus and Joy Division being the progenitors of Goth—Pornography remains the signpost.

Kate Bush- The Dreaming:

The Dreaming is a difficult album to listen to. Couple that with the fact that Kate Bush is viewed in this country as a shrill harpy, and you have an album that practically no one gives a shit about. The Dreaming challenged its audience to embrace the album as a whole, rather than a framework built around pop songs. The Dreaming broke ground in many ways—it was one of the first albums to feature instruments native to the Australian aborigines, and featured songs with narratives that forced the listener to embrace the stories within (I maintain that Kate Bush is one of the greatest story tellers of our time—listen to “Heads We’re Dancing” off of 1989’s The Sensual World and tell me otherwise). “Pull Out the Pin” is set during the Vietnam war, but tells the tale from the point of view of a North Vietnamese solider, sneaking up on the enemy, referencing how the American smells of “Yankee hash”; “Houdini” attempts to explain how the title character escaped from his entanglements (“with a kiss, I’ll pass the key”). “There Goes A Tenner” details a bank heist gone wrong. Each song is wrapped in off-kilter rhythms and challenging lyrics. The album could have been recorded yesterday and people still wouldn’t know how to pigeonhole it.

REM- Chronic Town:

Technically an EP, Chronic Town broke REM onto the burgeoning college radio scene. I can be like a certain unnamed Buffalo News music critic (cough Jeff Miers cough) and feign ultimate, encyclopedic musical taste, and claim that I alone, at age 12, despite my infatuation with Styx and Pat Benetar, embraced REM for all they could be back in 1982 when this album came out. The reality is this release was thrown in my face in 1986, when all of the upper classmen in my high school decried Life’s Rich Pageant as REM’s sell out album (if only they’d waited five years for Out of Time). However, hearing “Wolves, Lower” and “Carnival of Sorts” now, and placing it in context, I can’t help but see where they were coming from.

Shooter, Elvis and the Jack of Hearts

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

Yeah, I got this blog title from a track off of Bob Dylan’s “Blood on the Tracks” album.  It’s appropriate, though, because I’ll be talking about Dylan later on.

 So, this past weekend I took a road trip to Milwaukee to see Shooter Jennings play a club called The Rave.  It looked a hell of a lot like the place Wayne & Garth went to see Alice Cooper in the first movie, so now I have to watch it again to verify that.  Anyway, it was a decent venue with a small crowd, but a hell of a show!

The opening act was a gentleman by the name of Eddi Spaghetti, frontman for Texas punk band The Supersuckers.  He came out with his guitar player who was dressed like a 70’s porn star, but played like a rock star.  Spaghetti did some acoustic versions of Supersuckers songs, and even covered an old Merle Haggard song called “Misery and Gin” which was the highlight of his set.

 Then Shooter came out.  Shooter may be best known as the spawn of country music legend Waylon Jennings, but is a great musician in his own right.  I had listened to his albums “Electric Rodeo” and “The Wolf” before the show, and I can honestly say they’re both damn good country-rock records.

 What I wasn’t prepared for was his live performance.  I’d expected a toned down guitar rock show, but what I got was pure brilliance.  He was good.  Damn good.  He put on a better show in this club than most bands play in an arena. 

 And the band – let’s just say that the lead guitar was better than Jimmy Page on a good day.  I could have sat there all night listening to him solo.  I’d pay to see this performance again.

Monday.

 I paid a visit to the Chicago Theater to take in a performance by rock legends Elvis Costello and Bob Dylan.  Amos Lee opened, which was ok, but I wasn’t paying much attention to him.  Other people at the show informed me that he was fantastic.

Costello took the stage and played an acoustic set for about an hour.  I don’t really know a lot of his music, but what I heard has inspired me to check him out further.  He played one tune which may have been called “I Want You” which had me riveted.

Then Bob and his Band played.  I wasn’t expecting much because Bob is, well, Bob.  His voice isn’t what it used to be.  He growled though his first two songs, “Cat’s In The Well” and “Lay Lady Lay” – but as he went along, he seemed to come to life and sounded a whole lot better.  I was thrilled to hear “You’re A Big Girl Now”and “Highway 61 Revisited” and even more surprised when he closed with “Like A Rolling Stone.”

He, Amos Lee, and Costello came out for the encore and did an excellent rendition of “I Shall Be Released”,  then went into “Thunder on the Mountain” and closed the night with “All Along The Watchtower.”

I’m not going to give the performance a good or a bad review.  Bob can’t do a bad show, because he’s Bob Dylan.  He’s a music legend.

What?

Monday, April 16th, 2007

Why didn’t anyone tell me that Dinosaur Jr. was back?
Watch this five or six times and realize that good music is still out there:
Been There All The Time

I’m a Rocketman!

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

From CNN.com:

Island Christian Leaders: Ban Elton John

PORT OF SPAIN, Trinidad (Reuters) — Pop singer Elton John should be banned from performing at a jazz festival in Tobago because his homosexuality could influence young people, some Christian leaders on the Caribbean island said Monday.

A group of Christian churches have failed to persuade the Tobago House of Assembly, which oversees the administration of the island, to join the call for a boycott of John’s appearance at the Plymouth Jazz Festival in late April.

But they said they would pursue the campaign against John, who married his partner David Furnish in Britain in 2005.

“We feel it can have a negative social impact. There are some who may not be sure of their sexuality and one has to be careful about how this can create impressions on impressionable minds,” pastor Terrance Baynes told Reuters Monday.

I agree with Pastor Baynes.  I went to an Elton John concert once, and now for the first time ever I’m ready to talk about my experience there.

I was in the crowd waiting for him to take the stage, and suddenly a large flag unfolded at the rear of the stage, and upon it was imprinted a huge rainbow.  Then Elton himself walked out to a podium which was placed center stage.  He raised his fist in the air and everyone chanted “Hail, Elton John!”

It was a very surreal experience.  Most of the crowd were wearing pink armbands and waving little rainbow flags in the air.  Those who weren’t wearing the armbands were ushured into tents along the side of the main stage by a militant looking bunch of guys called the “Pink Panthers.”  About an hour later they were returned to the audience looking a lot lighter-in-the-feet than they had before.  Many of them were holding hands.  Needless to say, they were all male.  For some reason, there were no females present.

I had escaped the clutches of the Pink Panthers by making my own pink armband before I arrived at the concert grounds.  I was also wearing a gas-mask to prevent me from catching the deadly and highly contagious virus commonly caught at Elton John concerts called “The Gay.” Someone I knew had gone to see Elton John previously and had told me what had happened to him.  His name was Frank, and before going to see Elton had made a life out of dating female strippers and drinking beer.  Now, he watches Barbara Streisand films and drinks Cosmopolitans.  I didn’t want to end up like him.

Anyway, with everyone successfully converted, the concert began.  I’m up relatively close to the stage so I have a pretty good view of the festivities.  Elton breaks into one of his more famous songs, “Crocodile Rock” and it looks like there’s a mosh pit about to form in front of the stage. 

I thought it was unusual to see people moshing at an Elton John concert.  Unlike Judas Priest (which, for some reason has the tents and the Pink Panthers at their shows, too) this wasn’t a metal show.  But, upon closer inspection I realized it wasn’t a mosh pit at all!  It was a bunch of guys dropping their pants and fondling each other.  I was shocked!  Never had I seen such a thing happen since I went to see Ellen Degeneres do her stand-up show and the girls in the front were doing some very unladylike things to each other.  I stayed to watch that one, though.

 At that point, I knew I had to get out of there.  I took off my armband, which was not the brightest move on my part, and headed for the exit gate.  Elton was just starting to croon”Rocketman” when I felt a firm hand on my shoulder.  I turned to see a large black man starting at me.  He was wearing a pink t-shirt, biker shorts and a pink beret.  I recognized him to be one of the Pink Panthers.  He grabbed my arm and dragged me toward a tent.

Now, I was in a state of panic.  He threw me in the tent, and ripped off my gas mask.  I was now fully exposed to “The Gay” virus.  I began to cry as my captor started to unbuckle his pants.  He was about to expose his gayness to me when my arm shot out and I punched him square in the jaw.  He stopped for a minute, and his face began to change.  His head got smaller, and turned green.  Suddenly scales started appearing all over his body.  He was distracted long enough for me to run out of the tent. 

I looked around, and realized that everyone was turning green and scaly. I was surrounded with these creatures reaching out to me and trying to capture me.  I had no chance, so I gave in….and lost consciousness.

I awoke strapped to a metal gurney of some sort.  There were this lizard-people all around me hissing and making funny noises.  Then one of them approached.  He was one of them, alright, wearing big sunglasses and a pink boa.  He spoke:

“Welcome to the Mothership.”

His voice was familiar, and it only took me a moment to realize who it was.  It was Elton!  Elton John was a gay Lizard-man!  I remained silent, scared out of my mind, and he spoke again:

“I am the Rocketman.  I come from planet Fagotia, and we have come here to take over your planet!  Our weapon is the drug we call ManLove!”

He pulled out a syringe and stabbed me with it.  I knew it was over.  I had been infected with The Gay.  I was doomed to a life of lusting after other men.

He looked at the monitors I was hooked up to, concerned.

“Nothing seems to be happening,” he said, “He is immune!  We must get rid of him and wipe his memory clean! Brothers Halford and Mercury, get the Memory-Wiper machine!”

They did as they were asked, and hooked me up to what seemed like an EKG machine.  I witnessed a big flash, and then woke up in my bed, not remembering anything that transpired the night before.

The moral of the story:  Don’t let your kids listen to Elton John or they might catch “The Gay.”

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