The Lamb Named McCain.
Tuesday, March 11th, 2008It is no secret that I think McCain is a royal fuckstick that will happily suck any dick he can to get the presidency but now that he has the nomination and the backing of Bush some things are starting to look strange to me. To be honest, when this whole mad dash for the White House began I would have never picked McCain to be the nominee. The only ones I thought were less likely were Paul (A racist) and Keys (A guy who, after losing to Obama in the U.S. Senate election in Illinois, said that Senators should be appointed by state legislatures and no longer elected by the people).
So how did McCain get here? The people. They want him.
Here is the thing. He will lose. His party knows it and they are more then happy to let him take the hit. Why? The don’t like him much. His nomination is turning the party away from the religious right. If he gets killed in the general it will actually give more power to the religious right within the Republican party when the smoke clears. I can see the seeds backlash already forming within his party.
You know what? Fine by me.
Let them become more crazy. Let them move further from center. Further from power.
Here is the question:
Will this cause a split in the Republican party? Will the religious right split off and finally form their own party, removing their parasitic infection that has been sucking the life from the Republicans? Or will the Jesus-free conservatives have to find a new home?
What about a running mate for McCain? I know the religious right is pushing for one of their own, maybe even Huckabee, but there is a problem with that. McCain will lose all of his independent votes with Huckabee. Will adding the votes from the religious right give him a net gain after losing the independents? If not then there is no reason to pair with a religious running mate. Who could possibly give him a gain in votes and make him competitive against the Democrats?
The Republicans are currently looking at being the generic white guy in a historic election. Who could help them?
Condoleezza Rice.
I hate to break it down to race or gender but that is how a lot of people see it. I guess we will see how it goes.
Olbermann is My Homeboy.
Friday, February 15th, 2008If you missed it Keith Olbermann has a special comment last night. It may be one of the best things I have ever heard him say. This should be mandatory viewing.
Presidential Pickings.
Saturday, February 2nd, 2008I’ll admit it, I think Edwards was a good decent guy who would have made a decent President. Compared to out current Fuck-up in Chief he would have been a phenomenal President. Sadly for him he was in the wrong race at the wrong time. Again. Last time he had to try to “humanize” Kerry. This time he was stuck between the first black man with a real shot at the presidency and the first woman with a real shot at the presidency. He sadly got relegated to the part of generic white guy stuck in a historic race. Ah, well, I wish him and his wife good luck.
Kucinich and Hunter have finally seen the light and dropped out of the race. Giuliani finally dropped out after he realized he ran his campaign like shit and most people were sick of hearing his lisping voice repeat 9/11 over and over again.
So who do we have left for fringe canadates?
Even though everyone, including myself, refers to the Democratic primaries as a two person race we actually have a third contestant. Anyone remember Mike Gravel? No? He was the crazy guy with what appeared to be some form of Tourette’s syndrome during the early debates. Because he isn’t being allowed at the debates he has set up a streaming video “alternate debate” on the web. I hope it has sock puppets. I think they should let him back in the debates just for his comic relief factor.
Alan Keys is supposedly still out there somewhere. CNN doesn’t even list him as a candidate though. No matter, he is just a conservative fuckstick.
Ron Paul is still trying to hold on to the dream too. I have no idea why. Anyone who reads this blog knows what I think of him and his idiot supporters. You know what looks good on Ron Paul supporters?
Fire.
Huckabee. An extremist that wants us to fear extremists. What needs to be said about Mike Huckabee that he hasn’t already said and done himself? Lets take a look at his greatest hits.
Supports FairTax. While it has the word “fair” in it this idea is in no way fair. Here is the fair tax in a nutshell:
Remove the IRS, 23% sales tax (By some estimates it will actually factor in at 30%) on purchases.
Fuck that. You know what that does? Fuck over everyone that spends all or most of their paycheck. For the person who lives paycheck to paycheck, a person that spends 100% of their paycheck to survive they get taxed on 100% of that paycheck. 100%. For someone who only spends 1 or 2% of their income they only get taxed on that 1 or 2%. So the rich pay less taxes and the burden is shifted to the poor. Wonderful.
Let’s say there was a 15 year old girl. Now let’s say that girl was retarded. With me so far? Good. Let’s say this girl was raped by her stepfather and was now pregnant from this rape. A judge in the state where this girl resides rules to allow the use of Medicaid funds to be used to help this girl get an abortion. The governor of this state blocks the judges ruling.
This really happened. The governor in question was Mike Huckabee.
Goddamn.
I wonder how Huckabee feels about woman in general?
In August of 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full page USA Today Ad which declared: “I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention.” What was in the family statement from the SBC? “A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ.”
The ad wasn’t just a blanket, “we support the SBC statement,” but rather highlighted details. The ad Huckabee signed specifically said of the SBC family statement: “You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband’s sacrificial leadership.”
(Link)
Oh for fucks sake. People are actually voting for this guy?
And that does it for the rundown of our lunatic fringe. Hope you enjoyed your stay. Visiting hours are now over and Huckabee needs his meds. If he doesn’t get them on time he starts rambling about changing the constitution to fit God’s will and no one wants to hear that.
My Response To The State of The Union Address.
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008What?
No, seriously, what?
What union is this fucking moron referring to? The one where unicorns roam free and candy is the main form of currency?
The useless fuckstain even had the balls to make reference to, and take credit for, the foiling of two “terror” plots. One of which entailed a plane being flown into “the largest building in L.A.” has pretty much been proven as false. The other of which was crashing planes on the way to the U.S. into the Atlantic. You know what the deal was there? The “masterminds” behind it had neither the tickets nor the passports to board those flights.
So guess where that leaves those claims he is making about being a terror fighting superhero?
Same place the gas prices are at.
Same place the economy is at.
Same place the war, housing market, the job market, health care, the U.S. dollar, unemployment, our education system, the environment, foreign relations, the city of New Orleans, and every other goddamned thing this administration has touched, or in the case of New Orleans, forgotten to touch.
That place my friends, is the shitter.
Never has such incompetence been so rewarded. I hope, for the sake of future generations, at home and abroad, that, instead of revising and retelling, the history books shed light on your deeds, misdeeds and idiotic fuckups so that the children of the world will know. So they will never forget. So that history will not repeat itself. So that the state of the Union, and for that matter the state of the world, are never impacted like this again.
Retards and Recounts: Welcome to New Hampshire.
Sunday, January 13th, 2008I heard the complaints start up almost immediately after the polls closed in Iowa. People bitching that Ron Paul had been screwed. That a recount was needed. As it normally has gone a majority of Americans ignored them and we moved on with our lives. Moved on to New Hampshire.
There we had a bit of a surprise. Against all predictions, including mine, Clinton won. Some say it was because she cried, some point out that the pollsters were wrong. Either way, she won in New Hampshire. The margin of victory was so small that they actually were each awarded 9 delegates. So in reality it was a tie. Simple enough right?
Nope.
Another call for a recount.
It started on the tinfoil hat blogs of the Ron Paul whackjobs and the 9/11 conspiracy idiots. Slowly like a virus it spread. It actually made it out of the crazy sector and into the main stream news.
A recount in New Hampshire. Bought and paid for by Kucinich.
Conspiracy rumors were fueled because Clinton did better in precincts where ballots were counted by machine while Obama did better where ballots were counted by hand.
Damnit. The robots are supporting Clinton? Fucking Skynet.
I guess we will have to wait and see what happens.
And then there were three…
Bill Richardson Mauls Old Man, Mistaking Him For Food.
Old Man Reportedly Smelled of KFC
After a poor showing in New Hampshire Richardson has dropped out of the race. I’m going to miss that guy. He really seemed like that crazy uncle that let you have a sip of his beer when you were 12. Sadly that sort of persona probably won’t get you elected. Forget that he, not Clinton, had the most political experience of the whole damn bunch. So all those people that were supporting Clinton over Obama citing experience as their main reason, you should have really done a little more research before latching on to Clinton.
Then again, we all know that people in this country don’t like to educate themselves on their candidates before voting. And that my friends, explains all the Ron Paul supporters.
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