Ron Paul: A Retrospective.

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

A few days ago Ron Paul finally dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination. All the hippies and wackjobs that loved this man more then their own sanity are in a state of mourning. This is also a huge loss for me because, like Mike Gravel and Rudy “Noun, Verb, 9/11″ Giuliani, he was a constant source of easy comedy. Now I’ll actually have to focus my attacks on Old man McCain.
So here is to all the hippies who blindly supported him because he is pro-hemp and anti-war without a glance at the rest of his record.
And here is to you Ron Paul. Here is to the man that:

  • Voted NO on the Animal Fighting Prohibition Enforcement Act
  • Voted NO on establishing nationwide AMBER alert system for missing kids.
  • Voted NO on increasing minimum wage to $7.25.
  • Voted NO on establishing “network neutrality” (non-tiered Internet).
  • Voted NO on starting implementation of Kyoto Protocol.
  • Voted NO on raising CAFE standards; incentives for alternative fuels.
  • Voted NO on prohibiting oil drilling & development in ANWR.
  • Voted NO on keeping moratorium on drilling for oil offshore.
  • Voted YES on building a fence along the Mexican border.
  • Voted YES on banning gay adoptions in DC.
  • Is rated 0% by NARAL, indicating a pro-life voting record.
  • Is rated 5% by the LCV, indicating anti-environment votes.
  • Is rated 0% by the CAF, indicating opposition to energy independence.

    • Who would have guessed that stoned college kids could be so easily misled?

    Now that he is gone he leaves behind a nothing but cardboard signs and bumper stickers slapped up on telephone poles and mailboxes around my city. That is his legacy. Soggy, limp, useless hunks of cardboard flapping about aimlessly in the wind and old fading stickers barely clinging to rusty lamp posts. Fitting. Now who the fuck is going to clean up this mess now that his idiot fans have receded back to the paranoia of their 9/11 conspiracy forums?

    Steaming Pile of Blog’s Deprograming Foundation.

    Saturday, January 5th, 2008

    A service we only usually offer to friends and family members of Scientologists, furries and drinkers of light beer has been expanded to Ron Paul fanatics.
    We will deprogram any member of any of the groups listed above. Just send them our way and we will return them to you with their brains back in working order.
    We guarantee our results and will re-deprogram anyone who relapses for free.

    Ron Paul – The Piper of the Douchbags.

    Monday, December 17th, 2007

    You see it everywhere. On walls of college campuses, on message boards and blogs, everywhere you look you can’t help but see graffiti in support of Ron Paul. Uneducated dreadlocked drumcircle douchbags running around with chalk, tagging every bit of open space with pro-Paul propaganda. Lame ass wannabe libertarian cock holsters spamming every messageboard about how he is the one. Problem is, none of the fuckstains actually know anything about him. They are just picking up on one or two of his ideas that are decent then acting like he is some sort presidential duct tape.
    They latch on to the fact that he is anti-war and pro-hemp and gloss over the anti-choice and the anti-gay voting record.

    Lets look at some statements and votes he has made:
    Voted YES on banning Family Planning funding in US aid abroad. (May 2001)
    Delivered 4000 babies; & assuredly life begins at conception. (Sep 2007)
    No federal funding of abortion, and pro-life. (Dec 2000)
    Save “snowflake babies”: no experiments on frozen embryos. (Sep 2007)
    Voted YES on banning gay adoptions in DC. (Jul 1999)
    Don’t ask, don’t tell is a decent policy for gays in army. (Jun 2007)

    So it seems that other then his stance on the war and pot he is just another republican. What I don’t get is all these liberal hippie fuckwits running around tagging the shit out of college campuses for this guy. Do they only really care about their weed? Are they so blinded by the promise of legal weed that they are willing to ignore blatant civil rights violations?

    I think the lesson is clear, never listen to the political opinions of people who do all their thinking while stoned.