Watching this all unfold has been the highlight of the year thus far. I’ll have a full write up on it soon but for now here is a teaser.

A service we only usually offer to friends and family members of Scientologists, furries and drinkers of light beer has been expanded to Ron Paul fanatics.
We will deprogram any member of any of the groups listed above. Just send them our way and we will return them to you with their brains back in working order.
We guarantee our results and will re-deprogram anyone who relapses for free.

After reading Rob’s last entry I was buzzing around the net looking to see if there was any recent developments surrounding the Church of Scientology. As you may or may not know Rob and I did a piece on them a while back for a local newspaper when they opened a new church in our area so we have dealt with them before. In my browsing I find a headline on Operation Clambake that just pissed me the fuck off.
Keith Henson arrested in U.S (Link leads to a small blurb on slashdot.org)

During my research on Scientology I became aware of Mr. Henson’s story.
The quick version of the story is that in 1996 some of Scientology’s “secret” documents, New Era Dianetics A.K.A. NOTS, were leaked onto the internet, Henson read them and came to the conclusion that Scientology was committing medical fraud.

From the Wikipedia article on Mr. Henson:

The NOTS documents, he said, contained detailed instructions for the treatment of physical ailments and illnesses through the use of Scientology practices. However, a Supreme Court decision in 1971 had declared that Scientology’s writings were meant for “purely spiritual” purposes, and all Scientology books published since then have included disclaimers stating that Scientology’s E-meter device “does nothing” and does not cure any physical ailments (United States v. Founding Church of Scientology et al., US District Court, District of Columbia 333 F. Supp. 357, July 30, 1971 [1]). The NOTS procedures, Henson claimed, were a violation of this decision. To prove his claim, Henson posted two pages from the NOTS documents onto the Usenet newsgroup alt.religion.scientology.

Eventually a part of the church called the Religious Technology Center hit him with a lawsuit. He lost and was ordered to pay $75,000, it is estimated that the organization spent a total of about $2 million in litigation against Henson. The judge would not allow him to argue that posting the documents in order to discredit them was covered by Fair Use. Henson filed bankruptcy and continued his protest of the church while the church continued to harass him.
While protesting outside of the Gold Base Scientology film studio he was arrested and hit with criminal charges. The church claimed he was a dangerous stalker with a background in explosives. They said he was a terrorist and likened him to Timothy McVeigh. They claimed he said in a post to alt.scientology that he was going to blow up the studio.
Henson was charged with making terrorist threats, attempting to make terrorist threats, and making threats to interfere with freedom to enjoy a constitutional privilege, all misdemeanors under California Law.

During the trial the church filed several motions to exclude a good amount of Henson’s defense including the testimony of the lead investigator, Sheriff’s Detective Tony Greer. Greer had previously said “In reviewing all of the Internet postings I did not see any direct threat of violence towards the church or any personnel of the church.”
Ready for the kicker?
The judge allowed this. How in the hell was this even close to a fair trail?
He was eventually convicted on only one of the three counts, making threats to interfere with freedom. Instead of serving jail time, where he feared that his life would be in danger, he fled to Canada and applied for asylum. He stayed in Canada for three years until his plea for asylum was denied. He then fled again, this time back into the U.S. and remained for two years until his recent arrest in Arizona.He His hearing is set for May 8th.

One more quote from Wikipedia before I go:

The Electronic Frontier Foundation, as well as Henson’s supporters on the USENET newsgroup alt.religion.scientology, claim his trial was biased, unfair and a mockery of justice.

I would like my name added to that list.

During my internet travels today, I visited one of my favorite websites: Findadeath.com. Everything you ever need to know about celebrity deaths can be found here. It’s funny, I could care less what celebrities are doing in their personal lives while they’re among their living, but once they die I’m all over it.

I was reading about Anna Nicole Smith, who as you all know recently bought the proverbial farm. I still can’t figure out why she was so popular in the first place, and why her death seems to have become the preoccupation of every American since it happened. She got more publicity when she died than Geroge Harrison, for Christ’s sake. It was on every freakin’ channel, and even Larry King was in tears. He’s probably just pissed because he never got to sleep with her when she was alive. Apparently she was on his show quite a bit.

Anyway, back to my original point. Anna Nicole is dead, and about 1,000 men are claiming to have fathered her spawn. It’s a big mess that coul apparently have been avoided, though. John Travolta says so. According to him, Lord Xenu could have saved her life. Here’s the article taken from http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/1501119/story.cfm?c_id=1501119&objectid=10426673 :

John Travolta says Scientology could have saved Anna Nicole Smith.

The actor insists the late Playboy Playmate may still be alive if she had checked into the controversial Scientology drug and detox programme Narconon.

John, who worked with Anna Nicole on Be Cool, said: “It’s so sad. We could have helped her with Narconon but didn’t get the chance to. I wish we had.”

Narconon has been widely criticised for its unorthodox methods which are inspired by the teachings of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. The treatment includes taking large doses of vitamins, an intensive running programme, and long sauna sessions which “run out” drugs and “radiation” from the body. Scientologists insist Narconon is 85 per cent effective, but it has been alleged the method has been used to convert vulnerable drug addicts to the bizarre sci-fi cult.

A toxicology report from Anna Nicole’s autopsy is yet to be released.

The model-and-actress died on February 8, after being found unconscious in Hollywood’s Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino.

Methadone and prescription drugs were found in her hotel room.

Of course Scientology could have saved her. Scientology can do anything, even cure homosexuality. Hell, Scientology was even able to help Tom Cruise spawn. That’s a modern miracle!

I could go on here about my feelings about Scientology, but I’ll save that for another time. I’m just anxiously awaiting the arrival of the new religion inspired by the writings of Dean Koontz.